My Suicide: Or: The Death of a Steppenwolf—For Mad People Only

He pulled the trigger expecting peace. The Old Ones gave him eternity. After ending his life with a shotgun blast, a broken Army veteran awakens in a personalized hell ruled by ancient entities known as the Originators. Trapped in a River of Blood beneath the Tree of Death, its branches fused human arms ending in staring eyeballs, he is guided by a silent Roman soldier through trials of body horror and cosmic despair. His only goal: to claw a final warning back to the seven children he left behind. Blending the literary madness of Hermann Hesse’s Steppenwolf with the visceral nightmares of Clive Barker and Dante’s Inferno, My Suicide is equal parts brutal veteran memoir, concept-album concept novel (every chapter named after Radiohead, Slipknot, and Pink Floyd tracks), and a father’s last desperate lighthouse beam cutting through the dark sea of despair. For readers who survived American Psycho, The Sandman, and Tender Is the Flesh.Readers are calling it:"The most terrifying argument against suicide I've ever read, and the most convincing reason some mornings still feel impossible. “This book is chaos—loud, neon-colored darkness, and I'm obsessed. My Suicide dives straight into intrusive thoughts, mental struggles, and identity with no filter. It's uncomfortable in all the right ways and weirdly beautiful in its honesty. If you like books that punch you emotionally and make you think about the world differently, add this to your TBR ASAP." “Like if Dante's Inferno and The Shining had a baby raised by Lovecraft on a diet of pure despair and fatherly love." "I finished at 11 p.m. and immediately called my dad. I've never done that before." If you've ever stared at the ceiling at 4 a.m. wondering if anyone would really miss you, this book will grab you by the throat, drag you through every circle of your own private hell, and shove the truth in your face: You're wrong about how little you matter. Dark, unrelenting, shockingly funny, and soaked in more love than seems possible for a story that begins with a shotgun blast to the head, My Suicide is a book the Void doesn't want you to read. Because some lighthouses are built out of corpses, and sometimes the only way to save the people you love is to show them exactly where you went when you tried to leave them behind. Warning: Contains graphic depictions of suicide, self-harm, childhood trauma, cosmic horror, and the kind of love that survives all of it. If you are in crisis, turn to the back page; there's an email waiting for you. For the Mad Ones. For the ones still holding on. For the ones who didn't.